Saturday, June 20, 2009

Mask? Mask Rider? Kamen Rider? Kame hame ha? hoho

Many people tend to not show their true feelings and emotions when in the presence of other people. This may be due to several reasons: They refuse to express their feelings and would rather keep things to themselves because they are afraid that their friends might tease them. They don’t want other people peeking into their business, interfering with their lives, and saying things that might offend them. They have low self-esteem and tend to be very sensitive towards what others think about them or their personality and character that has developed over the years might have made them become the way they are now.

We tend to believe that we know our friends very well, but to what extent do we actually know them? Are we close enough to know every single detail about them? More often than not, we don’t know everything about our friends. Some may choose to hide their feelings away from their peers because they don’t want them to be involved; they don’t want to show others their “weak” points, they want others to see them as “strong” and “able to deal with problems.” Or perhaps it is because they prefer dealing with their own problems themselves, they don’t want help from others and are rather independent.

However, is hiding your true self a good thing? You hide your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts behind a mask that covers you so that other people around you see the mask instead of the “real” you. Don’t you feel tired having to put on this “mask” every single day? I know I do. At times I have really wanted to throw this “mask” away and show everyone the “real” me. But, I didn’t. I was conscious of what people might think of me. “What’s with her sudden change?”, “She’s probably trying to get attention,” “Have you noticed who-and-who have changed a lot? I don’t know why she did that.” But of course, all of these are just my speculations. I have yet to encounter the real thing and I’m already afraid to make a step forward.

Am I lacking in self-confidence? Am I afraid of changes? Am I just conscious of what bad things other people might say about me? Perhaps these are the reasons why I refused to be who I truly am. How did all these feelings and thoughts come about? Is there a reason why I’m behaving and thinking this way? Maybe yes, or maybe no. Whatever the reasons might be, it’s always good to sit down and reflect on yourself once in a while. You may ask, why bother with this so much? Why not spend the time on something else more productive?
Maybe I just want to know more about myself first before knowing more about the people around me. There’s no harm in that just as long you think it does you good one way or another. As they say, before you can help other people with their problems, you need to help yourself with your own first.


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